You're My Family

When I watched The Book Thief for the first time, it wasn’t the storyline about reading books that seemed to strike my soul. Nor was it the shock of Nazi Germany and seeing things from the inside. It was how precious the relationships were. A girl named Liesel is taken from her original family and put into a new family and grows a bond with her new parents. That was an amazing thing to watch. Because the fact is, she has nothing in relation to them. No blood and no name. Yet as the days pass into months and years the bond between child and parent grows into something real. And it made me think about myself and what I desire. Now, before I continue to pour my heart out, remember carefully that these are MY thoughts and mine alone. While you might not believe this for yourself, this is truth for ME.

It is unlikely that I will conceive a baby. It is not completely impossible, but it will be tricky according to the doctors. When I found the news out, I honestly wasn’t as heartbroken as most women are. And that is due to the fact that I’ve never had a true desire to have my own children. I don’t look at newborns, the small shoes, the little toys and feel a sense of loss or like something is missing. I don’t feel jealous when I see many women around me having their first, second, third child. I don’t go awwww when I hear baby talk and when I hear my mother-friends talk about this and this with their babies. It is not because I dislike children, and it is not because I haven’t gotten to this phrase: “when you are in the place where you meet the right person and you have your own you’ll feel different”. I am sincerely content with not becoming a mother in that way and it doesn’t make me any less of a woman for not being a mother.

I think the greatest thing in the entire world that goes beyond being a mother, father, or human being in general is this: unconditional love. Loving someone no matter what. Loving them for who they are, what their heart and soul is, and letting the rest fall into place. You see, it was the unconditional love in The Book Thief that the characters had towards each other that seemed to be the theme for me. In one scene, the character Max has to leave for the sake of the family that is hiding him for being a Jew. Liesel pleads, and Max says “It’s for your own good. For your family”. Liesel then replies with “But you’re my family.” And that got me thinking, what is family? Is it connected by DNA? Is it connected by names? The number one definition for family according to the internet is: a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household. In that statement there is nothing about DNA or ancestry and everything about living and bonding together.

For myself alone, I believe that the most amazing act of unconditional love is adoption. I am amazed at the idea of taking in a child and loving them as if they shared that DNA bond. And I believe that the love that grows over time is a stronger bond than any DNA there is. Last week at Church, our Pastor announced to the congregation that they had adopted a little toddler into their family. And for me, that made my heart run over with joy and love more than the idea of birthing my own children. Adoption. That is what I’ve always been drawn in to. That is what makes me go awww, that is what makes me happy, that is my desire. Not because I likely can’t have my own children, but because the idea of loving a child no matter who they are, how old they are, where they came from, their history, is a completely selfless thing and that is beautiful. We bond because we live and grow together not because we share the same blood in our veins. I’m not sure why my heart is drawn to adoption; it’s always been like that. Maybe because I feel like it’s a parallel to my faith. God has adopted me like one of His own. No matter who or what I am, He invites me into His house, into His arms, and loves me like I am His because I am. 

I’m not really sure what lead me to write this today. Maybe it was the amazing emotions that were stirred up in me when I watched The Book Thief, or maybe it was something I needed to say for a while and the movie helped bring those feelings to the surface. But whatever it was, I wanted to share them with whoever cares to read. I guess the theme you could take from this is that when you love unconditionally you create a family with the people you share your heart with. Whether it’s DNA-connected family, friends, co-workers, we are all family because humanity links us. I have been extremely blessed in life to have connected with so many beautiful souls. And something I’ve learned that will permanently be truth between me and those people, is this: you’re my family.